Paris, July 28, 2024 — Ah, Paris! The city of lights, love, and the occasional downpour. With the Olympic torch ablaze and umbrellas at the ready, the French have once again proven their ability to turn any event into a spectacle, complete with existential drizzle and haute couture raincoats. As the opening ceremony boats are packed away and the Seine returns to its usual state of aloof nonchalance, the games have truly begun.
In a ceremony that might as well have been an art installation at the Louvre, Paris managed to blend avant-garde theatrics with Olympic tradition. The French, always pushing the envelope, decided to float an aqua-tableau over the Seine, prompting bewilderment and begrudging admiration from the global audience. The English-speaking press, our self-appointed global critics, had a field day. They proclaimed, “Sure, the French can walk on water, but can they outdo London 2012?” Of course, no one actually remembers what happened in London 2012, but that’s beside the point.
The highlight of the opening ceremony was undoubtedly the passing of the torch from the living legend Zinedine Zidane to Spain’s Rafael Nadal, the only man who can make clay courts tremble and Parisians swoon. Nadal, the unofficial mayor of Roland Garros, returned to his ‘home’ for what could be his final Olympic appearance. It’s a bit…
