Martha Stewart Has Had Enough: Plans to Take a Rocket to Dust the Moon

In a surprising turn of events, the domestic goddess Martha Stewart announced her latest, most ambitious project to date: a mission to the Moon to “give it the proper dusting it deserves.”

During a press conference held in her impeccably decorated garden, Stewart revealed her frustration with the state of cleanliness beyond Earth. “I’ve conquered kitchens, gardens, and even prison cells,” she said. “It’s high time someone addressed the dust situation on the Moon.”

Martha’s space aspirations aren’t entirely out of this world. Teaming up with a private aerospace company, she’s set to board a custom-made rocket, equipped with all the essentials for a thorough lunar cleaning. This includes her signature feather dusters, vacuum cleaners, and an array of eco-friendly cleaning supplies.

“My mother always told me, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself,” Stewart declared, brandishing a gleaming silver duster. “And let’s be honest, who better than me to make the Moon sparkle?”

Her plan includes a detailed itinerary. Upon arrival, she’ll start with a comprehensive dusting of the Moon’s surface, followed by organizing the lunar rocks into neat, color-coordinated piles. “It’s a mess up there,” she sighed. “I can’t stand clutter, even if it’s 238,855 miles away.”

Stewart’s fans are divided on her latest venture. Some are excited to see her take on this new frontier, while others are concerned about the practicality of her mission. “I’m all for clean spaces,” said one devoted fan, “but how is she going to keep her whites so white in zero gravity?”

NASA, for their part, has taken a diplomatic stance. “We admire Martha’s enthusiasm for cleanliness,” said a spokesperson. “While our focus remains on scientific exploration, we certainly won’t discourage any efforts to make space a tidier place.”

Snoop Dogg, Stewart’s close friend and unlikely partner in crime, expressed his support with his usual flair. “If anyone can make the Moon shine brighter, it’s Martha,” he said in an Instagram post. “You go girl, and don’t forget to bring back some of that space dust for our next batch of cookies.”

Martha Stewart’s Moon mission is scheduled for launch next spring, pending the completion of her astronaut training and the final touches on her space suit, which, sources say, will feature her trademark gingham pattern.

As the world watches in awe and amusement, one thing is certain: wherever Martha Stewart goes, a trail of glittering cleanliness is sure to follow.

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