Interviewer: Good afternoon, everyone. Today we have a very special guest joining us. Please welcome Eric Cartman from South Park! How are you today, Eric?
Cartman: Oh, I’m doing great, thank you very much. Just trying to avoid the idiots I have to deal with every day.
Interviewer: That sounds… interesting. Speaking of your friends, how are Stan, Kyle, and Kenny?
Cartman: Ugh, do we really have to talk about those guys? Stan’s too busy being a hippie, Kyle’s always whining about something, and Kenny… well, let’s just say he’s still trying to break his own world record for most deaths in a single year.
Interviewer: Sounds like typical South Park antics. So, what have you been up to lately?
Cartman: Oh, you know, just plotting world domination, trying to get my mom to buy me a PS5, and eating Cheesy Poofs. The usual.
Interviewer: World domination, huh? Got any new plans we should be worried about?
Cartman: Well, I don’t want to give too much away, but let’s just say it involves a lot of duct tape, a hamster, and a slightly used bouncy castle.
Interviewer: That sounds… elaborate. How’s your mom doing?
Cartman: My mom? She’s still the same old pushover. She just got into a new hobby though. She’s knitting sweaters for our pet pot-bellied pig, Fluffy. She’s calling it “Pork Couture.”
Interviewer: Interesting fashion choice for a pig. Speaking of fashion, what’s your take on the latest trends?
Cartman: Honestly, most of it’s garbage. I mean, who even wears skinny jeans anymore? If your pants aren’t at least two sizes too big, are you even trying? Comfort is king, dude.
Interviewer: Wise words from a fashion icon. So, what’s next for Eric Cartman?
Cartman: I’m thinking about starting my own YouTube channel. It’s gonna be called “Cartman’s Corner.” I’ll review snack foods, play pranks on Kyle, and give life advice. Basically, it’s gonna be the greatest channel ever.
Interviewer: That sounds like it could be entertaining. What kind of life advice would you give?
Cartman: Oh, you know, the usual: Don’t trust hippies, always have a backup plan, and if someone crosses you, make sure to get revenge in the most epic way possible.
Interviewer: Solid advice, I suppose. Any final words for your fans out there?
Cartman: Yeah, keep being awesome, stay away from Kyle, and remember: I’m not fat, I’m big-boned!
Interviewer: Thank you, Eric. It’s been… enlightening.
Cartman: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Can we wrap this up? I’ve got a bucket of fried chicken waiting for me at home.
Interviewer: Well, on that note, thank you for joining us today, Eric. Until next time!
Cartman: Later, losers!
This fictional article was written by AI
