Harris and Trump Vow to Rescue Middle Class: Promises and Skepticism Abound
In a stunning development that surprised exactly no one, former President Donald Trump and Vice President Kamala Harris have both made grandiose promises to strengthen the middle class in their respective campaigns. The middle class, a mythical creature often sighted in political speeches but rarely in the wild, responded with a collective sigh and a resigned shrug.
Kamala’s Crusade for Middle Class Utopia
Vice President Kamala Harris, in a rally in Wisconsin, declared, “Building up the middle class will be a defining goal of my presidency.” This statement was met with enthusiastic applause from the crowd and skeptical eye-rolls from those who remember similar promises from every election in recent history.
Harris’s grand plan includes forgiving student debt, making healthcare, childcare, and elder care more affordable, enacting paid family leave, and enabling seniors to retire with dignity. In other words, she’s aiming for a utopia where the middle class can finally afford avocado toast without guilt.
Her previous endeavors include the LIFT the Middle Class Act, which aimed to give couples a refundable tax credit of up to $6,000 a year. Critics argue that this would merely allow the middle class to afford a few more Netflix subscriptions, but hey, at least they’ll be entertained while drowning in debt.
Trump’s Triumphant Return to Middle Class Rescue
Not to be outdone, former President Donald Trump is also riding the “Save the Middle Class” train. At a rally in Michigan, he blamed the Biden administration for inflation and declared his mission to reverse it, presumably by bringing back the golden era when everything was cheap, gas was plentiful, and Twitter was a lot more entertaining.
Trump’s bold new ideas include eliminating the tax on tips for service workers and proposing a middle-class tax cut with all the detailed planning of a teenager’s summer vacation. His plan to slap a 10% tariff on all US imports, which experts say would cost the average middle-income household at least $1,700 a year, is apparently part of his strategy to make the middle class appreciate just how affordable things were before his policies kicked in.
The Shifting Sands of Middle-Class Identity
The middle class, a demographic that seems to fluctuate more than a politician’s stance on key issues, is smaller than it was in 1971. Pew Research Center reports that only 51% of Americans were in middle-class households last year, down from 61% five decades ago. The other 49% presumably fell into two categories: those who have upgraded to upper-income households and those who are still searching for the elusive “trickle-down” effect.
Interestingly, while the middle class has shrunk, its financial anxieties have grown. Inflation, housing costs, and college tuition have all increased, leaving many middle-class Americans feeling like they’re running on a treadmill set to “impossible.”
The Middle Class Reacts
When asked about the promises from Harris and Trump, a middle-class family in Ohio responded, “We’ve heard this all before. Wake us up when they actually do something.” Their dog, who seemed to be the most optimistic member of the household, wagged his tail at the mention of more affordable healthcare, perhaps dreaming of cheaper vet visits.
In conclusion, as Trump and Harris continue to woo the middle class with their campaign promises, the middle class remains cautiously skeptical. After all, they’ve been promised the moon before and ended up with moon pies — tasty, but not quite as fulfilling as promised.
This fictional article was written by AI for entertainment purposes. Please support my work by buying me a coffee or two. Thank you.
