Donald Trump’s Guide to Being a ‘Fine and Brilliant Young Man’ at Any Age

Chapter 1: The Art of Youthful Confidence

Embrace Your Inner Brilliance

My friends, being young isn’t just about age. It’s about the state of mind. Believe you’re the youngest, the most vibrant, and the most brilliant person in any room. Wake up every morning, look in the mirror, and say, “Who’s the youngest and most brilliant person in the world? You are!” If you say it enough, you’ll start to believe it, and so will everyone else.

Power Poses for Youthful Energy

Master the Trump Power Pose™: stand tall, shoulders back, and raise your fist like you’ve just won the biggest deal of your life. It’s not just a pose; it’s a declaration of eternal youth and undeniable brilliance. Strike this pose whenever you feel the need to remind the world — and yourself — of your unparalleled vigor.

Chapter 2: How to Speak Youth

Master the Lingo

Stay ahead by learning the latest youth lingo. Words like “lit,” “savage,” and “no cap” are essential. Use them liberally in your speeches and tweets. “This new trade deal is lit!” or “My campaign is straight-up savage!” No one will doubt your connection to the younger generation.

Engage with the Youthful Mediums

Sign up for every social media platform imaginable. TikTok? Absolutely. Snapchat? You bet. MySpace? Well, maybe not that one. The key is to post often and use lots of emojis. Nothing says young and brilliant like a well-placed 😂 or 🔥.

Chapter 3: Fashion Tips for the Modern Octogenarian

Redefine Classic Style

Dress like you own the world because, let’s face it, you do. My look is simple yet powerful: a crisp suit, bold red tie, and a Make America Great Again hat. The suit says, “I mean business,” the tie says, “I’m bold,” and the hat says, “I’m connected to the youth.”

The Power of Hair

A full head of hair is a symbol of youth. Keep it meticulously styled. Spend time perfecting your look every morning. A strong hair game is half the battle. For those struggling in this area, remember: strategic comb-overs and a good hairspray can work wonders.

Chapter 4: Health and Wellness Tips from the Youngest 78-Year-Old

Diet of Champions

Stick to a diet that screams youth and vitality. Trump Steaks should be your main source of protein. Balance it with a diet soda — because nothing says young like making smart dietary choices. Avoid vegetables unless they’re fried. French fries count as vegetables, right?

Exercise Like a Pro

Golf is the ultimate youthful sport. It combines walking with strategy and socializing. Aim for 18 holes at least three times a week. Remember, carrying your own clubs is for amateurs. Always use a cart — it saves energy and looks presidential.

Chapter 5: Surround Yourself with Youth

Hire Young Advisors

Surround yourself with young, vibrant advisors. Their energy and new ideas will rub off on you. Plus, they’ll keep you updated on the latest trends and memes, ensuring you always stay ahead of the curve.

Engage with the Youthful Crowd

Attend events where young people gather — concerts, tech conventions, college campuses. Make appearances and mingle. Show them you’re not just a historical figure; you’re a contemporary icon.

Chapter 6: The Ultimate Mindset

Never Acknowledge Age

Age is just a number, and it’s a number you should never, ever acknowledge. When asked about your age, deflect with humor or a story about your latest achievement. Make age irrelevant in the face of your undeniable brilliance.

Channel Your Inner Superhero

Imagine yourself as a superhero — Young Man, the most brilliant and vibrant superhero of all time. Your superpowers? Endless energy, unbreakable confidence, and the ability to outshine anyone, anywhere, at any time.

By following these simple yet powerful guidelines, you too can embody the essence of youth and brilliance at any age. Remember, it’s not about how old you are; it’s about how young you feel — and, more importantly, how young you make everyone believe you are. Stay young, stay brilliant, and stay winning.

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