Breaking News: Kamala Harris Found to be Secret Mastermind Behind Everything

In an astonishing turn of events, Vice President Kamala Harris has been unveiled as the clandestine genius behind every major event, trend, and policy decision in recent history. From the invention of avocado toast to the creation of blockchain technology, Harris’s influence knows no bounds.

The Avocado Conspiracy

In an exclusive interview, Harris’s former college roommate revealed that Kamala was the true innovator behind the avocado toast craze. “She always had this knack for making boring things seem trendy,” the roommate confessed. “One day, she smeared some avocado on toast, and boom, a revolution was born. She even whispered to me that she knew it would eventually lead to millennials buying fewer houses. She’s playing 4D chess.”

Blockchain Bonanza

Tech insiders are now crediting Harris with the invention of blockchain technology. “She saw the future of digital currency long before any of us did,” said a former Silicon Valley executive who wishes to remain anonymous. “I remember her sketching out the basic principles on a napkin during a tech conference. She said she was just doodling, but now I see the genius behind those scribbles.”

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