First dates are stressful, no doubt. But did you know they could also be deadly? No, I’m not talking about the existential dread of small talk or that pit in your stomach when you realize you’ve been talking about your cat for 30 minutes straight. I’m talking about actual, life-ending disasters that can arise from those innocent blunders. Let’s explore eight ways you could literally kill your first date.
1. Choking on Your Clever Banter
You’re mid-sentence, delivering what you think is the most charming, witty remark ever, when your sip of wine decides it’s not going down without a fight. Cue the coughing fit that turns into full-on asphyxiation. Your date attempts the Heimlich, but who knew they had the upper-body strength of a toddler? One last attempt at charm — and then lights out. You were so close to finishing that anecdote.
2. Choosing a Spicy Restaurant Without a Will
Nothing says “I’m cultured” like suggesting an exotic, spicy restaurant for a first date. But one wrong bite of ghost pepper-infused curry, and suddenly you’re experiencing a mouth full of molten lava. Your date looks on, horrified, as your face turns fifty shades of red. Then purple. Then — whoops, looks like you’ve melted from the inside. Next time, just go for the pizza.
